If you've ever sat through a community meeting where the outcome felt oddly predetermined, you weren't imagining things. The formal vote, the raised hands, the recorded minutes—these are often just the ceremonial finale to a decision that was already made somewhere else entirely.

That somewhere else might be a phone call between two board members, a chat over coffee at the local diner, or a quick hallway conversation before everyone files into the room. Understanding these informal channels isn't about becoming cynical—it's about becoming effective. Because if you want to create real change in your community, you need to know where the actual conversations happen.

Every formal meeting has an invisible counterpart running alongside it. Before anyone sits down at the table, there's been a flurry of activity most people never see: phone calls checking temperature on proposals, coffee dates to build alliances, and text chains where the real objections get voiced.

This isn't necessarily corruption or backroom dealing—though it can become that. Mostly, it's just how humans operate. We're uncomfortable with public disagreement. We prefer to work through conflict privately before performing consensus publicly. The pre-meeting is where people float trial balloons, test reactions, and build the coalitions that make formal decisions possible.

Watch any effective community leader and you'll notice they spend as much time on these informal touchpoints as they do on agenda items. They call the skeptic before the meeting to understand their concerns. They grab lunch with the undecided member. They've done the work of persuasion before anyone's watching.

Takeaway

Formal meetings ratify decisions—they rarely make them. The real work of community change happens in the conversations before anyone takes notes.

Here's where it gets tricky. If you recognize that informal channels matter, how do you use them without becoming the very thing you criticize? The answer lies in intention and transparency about process.

Strategic preparation means doing your homework relationally, not just technically. Before a big decision, reach out to key stakeholders individually. Not to manipulate, but to listen. What are their concerns? What would make this proposal work for them? What are you missing? These conversations often improve your ideas while building the support needed to implement them.

The ethical line is clearer than people think. Using informal channels to understand perspectives and build genuine buy-in? That's good organizing. Using them to exclude voices, cut secret deals, or present false consensus? That's manipulation. The test is simple: could you describe what you're doing openly without embarrassment? If the answer is yes, you're probably on solid ground.

Takeaway

The goal of pre-meeting work isn't to rig outcomes—it's to surface real concerns early enough to address them honestly.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: informal channels often replicate the same power dynamics we're trying to change. The people who get those phone calls, those coffee invitations, those pre-meeting consultations—they're usually the same people who already have influence. The marginalized stay marginalized, just more invisibly.

Changing this requires intentional effort. It means actively including new voices in those informal conversations, not waiting for them to somehow find their way in. It means being explicit with newcomers that these pre-conversations exist and inviting them to participate.

Some community groups have started formalizing the informal—creating structured opportunities for pre-meeting input that don't depend on who knows whom. Others pair experienced members with newcomers specifically to share this unwritten knowledge. The goal isn't to eliminate informal channels, which is impossible anyway, but to democratize access to them. Everyone should know the game being played.

Takeaway

Inclusive organizing means bringing people into the informal spaces where power actually flows, not just saving them a seat at the formal table.

None of this means formal meetings are theater or that your community board is a sham. The formal process matters—it creates accountability, records decisions, and ensures democratic legitimacy. But it works best when it's the capstone of genuine dialogue, not a substitute for it.

Effective community change requires fluency in both languages: the official process and the human process that runs beneath it. Master both, and you'll stop wondering why some people seem to get things done while others just get frustrated.